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Who am I, that I should be able to to sit on my front porch in a rocking chair and feel the breeze against my skin and hear the rustling of the leaves. I hear the birds call to each other, a dove cooing in the distance. Who am I?
I  have peace at home, a full stomach from dinner that I was able to make in my oven. Who am I? I have thriving kids and a thriving marriage. I have a church family that extends on and on. I have love and support on all sides. He has hemmed me in before and behind. Who am I?

I am well aware that I am entitled to nothing. I have earned nothing. My father cares for me anyway. He loves me, anyway.

I remember the "dump-people" in Tijuana Mexico. They were so grateful for a bottle of water and hotdogs wrapped in tortillas and ketchup. They have tent communities that people were born into. They will never know about the world that lay 5 miles outside of that community. They work tirelessly just to have the minimum requirements for survival. They don't have Thursday Bible studies at a girlfriend's house or tea on the porch of a grandma. The only joy I can imagine they experience is from the love of their own people, I don't know.

I sit and enjoy the smell of a fresh bloomed spring and the sweet breeze but all the while I am well aware that God didn't have to bless me like this.

We have lived in bigger homes, newer, flashier, homes and driven bigger trucks and SUVs. We have vacationed yearly and maybe more.

None of it matters in the end. This is all for naught. Indeed! Only for Him, Jesus, lover of my soul. To serve Him brings a joy unspeakable. Sounds cliche', doesnt it? It's not. It's true. All that matters in the end is how you have answered His call and the joy is IN THE SERVING! No comparison. I wish our kids could see that now, before it is too late. Before they invest it all in this world. Some generations will close their ears to wisdom. Though, we are only trying to spare them and assure they waste no time finding that JOY.

What to do? Stay aware. Don't loose site of the ONE who gave it all and gave THIS all to...me.

Thank you, sweet and loving Father for allowing me to see you clearly everywhere. Even in the breeZe.

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..continued

Let Him dwell within me, ALL of my days. He is my and the only source of real JOY! The world is a liar. Only YOU can decide who you want to be, your identity is either in the world or in Jesus. If it's in Jesus then you are perfect because He is perfect. He atoned for all of our real imperfections. If sin leads to death, why do we chase it? Why do we chase the grave instead of His grace? Me too, it's a daily surrender of my desire for the world. Daily, hourly, minutely. The pull is intense and the struggle is real. Literally. No matter what happens to me, you know your mother's heart chases after Jesus Christ Himself. It is not the path of least resistance. On the contrary. I live my life for Him and through Him because I have already experienced the contrary. It was a state of darkness and death. Absence of light and of love. Of course I want to spare you the suffering of that course but sometimes we must walk through that mire to appreciate Him as he washes it off of us s...