Hearts Surrendered

awww 

This sweet face... 

When I wake up in the morning and look into little Maddy's beautiful face, wide eyes, chubby cheeks, I am both overcome and amazed. In the few unconscious hours that have passed, somehow I awake to love her even more than the previous day. If you would have asked me yesterday, I would have told you it would be impossible to love her more, as I love her to the fullest capacity of my heart. I would have been wrong. When I look into those wide, anticipating eyes, I am filled with unspeakable joy.

I have the most wonderful husband in the history of the universe. no lie.  

see? 

After Matt left for work, I was kind of bored so I decided today was a good day to check out the day care center I had reserved a spot in. Let me just say, we have since vowed to make other arrangements. When I walked in, all I saw was grody, grody everywhere. The infant room had cribs in rows like the orphanages you see on tv, with the babies left in them, there were only two there, but still. I just can't. I won't. I was horrified when I envisioned my precious, perfect new baby left alone in one of those nas-T cribs. This particular center was the ONLY place that had availability...next to the place that we had reserved and was recently "closed". :/ We live in a VERY small town, or on the outskirts of and there just aren't a lot of options. We moved from NoVA, so this is quite a change. I would have probably 1000 centers to choose from in VA, however here there were like 2. Seriously. Ideally, I could stay home with her. Second best scenario would be to have mar...

Go Steelers!!! 

Last night I saw the word "compromise" illustrated in a fantastic way. A little bit of history first...Matt and I have been married for 1 year. One thing we do religiously is watch movies as a family. (we have a room with self-built stadium seating in our house dedicated solely to this hobby) Although we have made numerous visits to Blockbuster video, rarely if ever did I leave truly satisfied. We always left with something we could both tolerate, like the recent Wedding Crashers. (Which I did love, but wouldn't be my first pick if it were just me watching) My personal first choices would include independent films, foreign films and girly stuff like that...Which to say the least, Matt is not completely interested in. I have yet to expose him to anything like that actually. That was, until last night. Let me say, my favorite actress is Juliette Binoche. My favorite book of all time is "Wuthering Heights". So naturally, the remake if Wuthering Heights starring...

sunset (view from our window) 

I had a wonderful night last night...Seems little Maddy prefers to stay awake most of the night and sleep ALL day. She is a sweet little angel sleeping on my lap right now. Looking at her right now, you would never know about her secret plot to deprive her momma of any kind of cumulative sleep. She was awake from 1:00 am to 4:00 am. No lie. Not good times... This was the first time she has really done that, so here's hoping it won't become a habit. Luckily, my darling husband awoke at 7am and kept watch over her while I slept a few whole hours in a row. People say, "nap when she naps..." I just can't bring myself to do that. I have been home for 3 weeks now and ok, maybe the first 2 or 3 days I napped a bit during the day. But for some WEIRD reason I can't bring myself to do it now. I hate the thought of sleeping the day away. I want to savor it a bit. I want to savor her, even while she is sleeping peacefully. However, anyone who really knows me can tell you ...

just about 2 weeks before Madison was born 

Moriah & Me 

That was the gazillionth one of those she got that day! (from me alone) 

To all those new mommas out there in internetland: Does it ever get easier to leave that baby you love at day care to go to work? Is there ever a day you can leave her and NOT cry your eyes out as you slip out the door? Why am I worrying about this now, you ask? Because that is what I do! I must fret about things in advance so I can be appropriately prepared to fret about them later. What else is weighing heavily on my mind, looming in the background of every thought?? You really want to know? How will I feed her when I am away? Pumping is NOT working! I have a lot of time on my hands right now, can you tell? No, but seriously..(ha) I don't. It doesn't seem like it anyway. I really feel that my days rush by and the nights even faster, EXCEPT-of course when Maddy chooses to awaken and remain so until she darn well pleases to rest again...Which is likely several hours later. Especially if the previous night allowed only similar slumber for momma. Let me note, I am NOT complaining...

If this isn't the cutest baby ever, I don't know, maybe I am a bit partial... 

Well here is Madison's sister, Jayden. (who happens to be the BEST little baby helper EVER) 

Here is the pittiful side, so you know she just has variations of utter cuteness... 

I think this is actually my favorite part of Madison :)  

And baby makes 3? 4? No, wait...5. But Jayden will be pictured later. 

matt and maddy 

Well, After visiting my Doc, who was nice enough to "help" my cervix get ready to go...the next evening as I was sleeping I felt my water begin to leak, it was about 4 am. I wasn't completely sure, so I checked and still wasn't quite sure so I waiting a few minutes before waking Matt. Then, when I was sure, and with a joyous lump in my throat I tapped Matt on the shoulder and he woke with a start. I said, "honey get up, it's time..." He asked if I was sure, I said that I was of course sure, my water was leaking. He shot out of bed and began to get ready to go. We sort of walked around in circles for a few minutes trying to make sure we had everything. He was excited, to say the least...we had been praying for her to come. Matt woke Moriah and she was buzzing around saying, " oh my God, we are going to have a baby..." over and over again. I tried as hard as I could to stay calm because someone had to. I enjoyed watching their excitemen...