Have you ever felt that lump in your throat, the burning of the eyes as you swallow hard and try to blink back tears...when you have heard something said that touches your heart a certain way? Last night, when Matt was praying over our meal, he said something that made me feel just that way.."God, bless and please protect all of our children, who are spread out all over..." That did it for me, it kind of hit me hard. My auto-pilot that runs me through each day, stalled at those words...and shut off. Then a twinge of pain crept over me as I thought about the reality of his words. Collectively we have three beautiful girls. One lives with her mom and one is spending time with her grandparents, so we are left with one out of three. (and that one is not that interactive, at just 10 wks:) ) And it really hurts not to have them all home, with us right now.
This morning, I was reading an article that totally relates to my statement above, (linked from:http://www.choosinghome.com/blog/ an inspiration to me, as a wife and mother)
If you haven't heard of Dr. James Dobson, founder of "Focus On the Family", allow me to introduce you...He is a very gifted speaker and writer on family issues, I would like to share an except from his 2/06 article, 'The Need to Simplify' as it relates directly to my above statements:
"In closing, let me emphasize one more time that the trouble we are having with our children is linked directly to routine panic and the increasing isolation and detachment from you, their parents. Furthermore, boys typically suffer more from these conditions than do girls. Why? Because boys are more likely to get off-course when they are not guided and supervised carefully. They are inherently more volatile and less stable emotionally. They founder in chaotic, unsupervised and undisciplined circumstances. Boys are like automobiles that need a driver at the steering wheel every moment of the journey, gently turning a half inch here and a quarter-inch there. They will need this guidance for at least 16 or 18 years, or even longer. When left to their own devices, they tend to drift toward the center divider or into the ditch, toward misbehavior or danger. Yet 59 percent of today's kids come home to an empty house. It is an invitation to mischief or disaster for rambunctious males, and the older they get, the more opportunities they have to get into trouble. Today, when the culture is in a tug-of-war with families for control of our children, we can't afford to be casual about their care and training.
Your task as a mother, in conjunction with your husband, is to build a man out of the raw materials available in this delightful little boy, stone upon stone upon stone. Never assume for a moment that you can "do your own thing" without serious consequences for him and his sister. I believe this task must be your highest priority for a period of time. It will not always be required of you. Before you know it, that child at your feet will become a young man who will pack his bags and take his first halting steps into the adult world. Then it will be your turn. By all expectations, you should have decades of health and vigor left to invest in whatever God calls you to do. But for now, there is a higher calling. I feel obligated to tell you this, whether my words are popular or not. Raising children who have been loaned to us for a brief moment outranks every other responsibility. Besides, living by that priority when kids are small will produce the greatest rewards at maturity.
I hope you know that I am not trying to tell you how to run your life. You and your spouse can discern what is best for your family. No one can tell you which road to take. Some women are emotionally geared for careers and would not want to be stay-at-home moms even if they had the resources to do so. They resent anyone criticizing them for having a career, and I don't blame them. It is a personal decision that is no one's business but their own. I do think, however, that there should be a way to avoid living in a state of perpetual chaos. It is hard on adults but creates havoc for children. From my perspective, almost anything is better than chasing the lead caterpillar endlessly around the flowerpot. "
You can catch the rest of that article here, http://www.family.org/docstudy/newsletters/a0039386.cfm (sorry, I don't know how to add links yet)
This morning, I was reading an article that totally relates to my statement above, (linked from:http://www.choosinghome.com/blog/ an inspiration to me, as a wife and mother)
If you haven't heard of Dr. James Dobson, founder of "Focus On the Family", allow me to introduce you...He is a very gifted speaker and writer on family issues, I would like to share an except from his 2/06 article, 'The Need to Simplify' as it relates directly to my above statements:
"In closing, let me emphasize one more time that the trouble we are having with our children is linked directly to routine panic and the increasing isolation and detachment from you, their parents. Furthermore, boys typically suffer more from these conditions than do girls. Why? Because boys are more likely to get off-course when they are not guided and supervised carefully. They are inherently more volatile and less stable emotionally. They founder in chaotic, unsupervised and undisciplined circumstances. Boys are like automobiles that need a driver at the steering wheel every moment of the journey, gently turning a half inch here and a quarter-inch there. They will need this guidance for at least 16 or 18 years, or even longer. When left to their own devices, they tend to drift toward the center divider or into the ditch, toward misbehavior or danger. Yet 59 percent of today's kids come home to an empty house. It is an invitation to mischief or disaster for rambunctious males, and the older they get, the more opportunities they have to get into trouble. Today, when the culture is in a tug-of-war with families for control of our children, we can't afford to be casual about their care and training.
Your task as a mother, in conjunction with your husband, is to build a man out of the raw materials available in this delightful little boy, stone upon stone upon stone. Never assume for a moment that you can "do your own thing" without serious consequences for him and his sister. I believe this task must be your highest priority for a period of time. It will not always be required of you. Before you know it, that child at your feet will become a young man who will pack his bags and take his first halting steps into the adult world. Then it will be your turn. By all expectations, you should have decades of health and vigor left to invest in whatever God calls you to do. But for now, there is a higher calling. I feel obligated to tell you this, whether my words are popular or not. Raising children who have been loaned to us for a brief moment outranks every other responsibility. Besides, living by that priority when kids are small will produce the greatest rewards at maturity.
I hope you know that I am not trying to tell you how to run your life. You and your spouse can discern what is best for your family. No one can tell you which road to take. Some women are emotionally geared for careers and would not want to be stay-at-home moms even if they had the resources to do so. They resent anyone criticizing them for having a career, and I don't blame them. It is a personal decision that is no one's business but their own. I do think, however, that there should be a way to avoid living in a state of perpetual chaos. It is hard on adults but creates havoc for children. From my perspective, almost anything is better than chasing the lead caterpillar endlessly around the flowerpot. "
You can catch the rest of that article here, http://www.family.org/docstudy/newsletters/a0039386.cfm (sorry, I don't know how to add links yet)
Great post! Good advise! Sometimes, even good parenting does not guarantee perfect results. Then you start a blog like I did: Partners in Prayer for Our Prodigals. When it seems there is nothing else to do.....there is: we PRAY!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your little one! How beautiful!
Diane
i needed that Mandy! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYour 'nest' will fill up again soon, hang in there!
I love Dr. Dobson. I read that entire thing and could hear his wise voice the whole time!
I needed that. I am a mother of 3 boys. And chaos it can be. I work 2-3 days a week, and boy can I tell a difference on the days I work. I suppose I need to be better at offering gentle "guidance" when I get home from work. I guess I started to figure, they are not babies any more, they do know right from wrong, yada yada. Well, I needed to be reminded that they are still children, needing structure and instrucion, even when they fight against it. God is so good to send us gentle reminders when we need them, even through complete strangers. Thanks again for the post.
ReplyDelete